Please be quiet. I know what you're going to say and baby, it won't change a thing. I can't stay and we both know it. It's not that I don't love you, I do. It's not that I don't want to be with you, God, I do. Honestly I don't know who this hurts more -- you, knowing you did nothing wrong, or me, knowing I'm killing us. The tears slide down my face and fall one by one onto my chest. They run down between my breasts and if I close my eyes I can almost feel your fingers trailing my body. And how I wish it were. I would give anything for your hands to be caressing me instead of this salt that burns my heart. Please forgive me. I can't stay, and you don't even want me to. I can't be happy here, it's not your fault but it's true. And I can't make you happy if I'm not myself, and, love, you deserve a girl who is.

Love. What is love? They say it's all you need, but, baby, they're wrong. Love can be the worst feeling in the world. Love is the one that can really do some damage. Love is the one that cuts deepest and takes the longest to heal, itching and throbbing the entire time, and even after it heals you're left with an ugly scar which pulls painfully when you move the wrong way. Believe me, this will always be pulling on me. I don't know if that makes you feel better. I think it does.

It will be scary, baby, flying away from you. I can't imagine how lonely it will be, how cold. I can't imagine how I could possibly be happy without you. I don't want to imagine it. But it will come. This is something I have to do. How will I ever know what I can do if I never get out and do something? I can't work at a gas station for the rest of my life, taking crap classes at a crap school to get a crap degree that won't even help me in the long run. There is no future for me in this town, none beyond struggling with resentment and struggling for rent. I can't do it. I can't get my life started if I'm always helping you get yours back together. Maybe when you've cleaned yourself up and I've found out just who I really am, maybe we'll have a chance for a real future. Until then, smile, my love, smile because I'm here tonight and I'll love you forever. And please be quiet, I know what you're going to say. Don't ask me to stay, I just might do it.